Greetings to you in the name of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. I am very thankful for all your prayers and encouragement so far. I hope this newsletter finds you in good spirits. Do not lose hope because of the situations you are facing because the word of God says that what we see now is temporal and what we do not see is eternal. Therefore, be happy in the Lord and He will go before you and mend the crooked ways.

So far, we have been discussing few important things that we need to consider in Godly relationships. In this month, we are going to see another important aspect which should be found in every relationship, i.e., being steadfast. We think we need to be good to everyone and we try very hard to maintain smooth terms with everyone. This is not Godliness. Jesus Christ was not fine with everyone in the Bible. Many times, Jesus Christ was very rude to many people while He was living as a human in this world. For example, one word which we can call as a bad word in the Holy Bible is, ‘perverted generation.’ This word was used in God’s language. He was not nice to the people on whom He used this word. The definition of Love, i.e., Jesus Christ himself used a whip in the temple of the Lord when people abused it. To them, He did not reveal Himself as a loving God, but as the God of Jealousy. Therefore, being nice to everyone in a relationship is not godliness. Every relationship demands a person to take sides and not to be neutral. That is the reason we must die to the system of this world to establish the relationship with Christ. We cannot serve two masters. Hence, if you have a desire for a relationship with Jesus Christ, you have to give up or die to your old relationships; otherwise, the relationship with Him will not be established. Contrary to this is business relationships where once a transaction is over, at that point the relationship is also over. Likewise, we can also think about being neutral, smooth, and compromising for a temporary moment for the benefits we can get out of a transaction. Leading such a life according to the business methodology will lead your life into destruction according to the preaching of Jesus Christ which we see in Matthew 16:24-26, Then Jesus said to His disciples, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me. 25 For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it. 26 For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul? Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul? Therefore, we need to prioritise what we want to hold on to and what we need to give up. We can sell godliness and the principles of the Bible to gain the temporary pleasures, i.e., worldly pleasures, but it is not going to be helpful. We need to draw the line of separation between light and darkness, i.e., the principles of the Bible and what we gain from the world. Likewise, there is a choice that is always demanded of us, i.e., whether a relationship is important or is being good and fine with everyone important. A letting go or divorce of a past relationship only leads to a new relationship. As long as we want to be good to everyone, no solid relationship can be created. You are divorced from your parents to marry the love of your life. You cannot remain in the same way as you did in the past when a new relationship enters your life. That is the reason the Bible says, “If anyone is in Christ, he is a new Creation.” 

Taking Sides:

We know our God is a jealous God. Hence, when we do not take His side, we are provoking Him to anger. In 2 Chronicles 19:1-3, Then Jehoshaphat the king of Judah returned safely to his house in Jerusalem. 2 And Jehu the son of Hanani the seer went out to meet him, and said to King Jehoshaphat, “Should you help the wicked and love those who hate the Lord? Therefore, the wrath of the Lord is upon you. 3 Nevertheless good things are found in you, in that you have removed the wooden images from the land, and have prepared your heart to seek God.” Here, we can see the wrath of God was upon King Jehoshaphat. He chose the wrong side. God is the head of the body, so you cannot be fine with someone whom God hates. It is simple; either you can be with God or be comfortable and fine with your worldly fellowships. It can never be both. That is the reason in Psalms 1, the word of God advises us not to stand, sit, and walk in certain situations. We come across a rich young ruler in Luke 18th chapter. His desires to have a relationship with God could not be achieved because of the affinity he had towards his wealth. In Exodus 20: 1-5, And God spoke all these words, saying: 2 “I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage. 3 “You shall have no other gods before Me. 4 “You shall not make for yourself a carved image—any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth; 5 you shall not bow down to them nor serve them. For I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children to the third and fourth generations of those who hate Me, 6 but showing mercy to thousands, to those who love Me and keep My commandments. Thus, the important principle we are discussing in this passage is taking a side in the fight. When there is a fight, we have to choose a side. In the fight between God and the worldly pleasures, you cannot be good to both sides. We cannot be neutral or try a compromise saying, “Regarding the things of God, I will be very careful, and I will not mix the world in it; and, in worldly matters, I will keep them away from God. I will not mix God and I will not use the Lord’s name in vain.” We cannot have this kind of dual citizenship. This is nicely explained in Luke 11:23, He who is not with Me is against Me, and he who does not gather with Me scatters. If you will be a slave to Jesus Christ, then you will be a child of light; otherwise, you will be children of darkness. Therefore, make the right choice by saying “no” to the relationship which is not revealing the fruits of the Holy Spirit. 

We see lots of witnesses in the Bible regarding this. In the New Testament, Judas the Iscariot, tried to be friendly with Jesus Christ as well as with the people who tried to kill Him. Though he was a disciple of Jesus Christ, he could not be saved. When you see the slandering quality in a person, and still try to be normal with him/ her, and you expect God to change the situations for you then it is rejecting the ways of Jesus Christ. In 2 Timothy 3:1-6, But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come: 2 For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, 3 unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good, 4 traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5 having a form of godliness but denying its power. And from such people turn away! 6 For of this sort are those who creep into households and make captives of gullible women loaded down with sins, led away by various lusts, 7 always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.When you see their bad fruits do not try to be nice to them but flee from them. If you do not do so, they will creep into your life and destroy you. Regarding the devil, the Bible asks us to resist him, and he will flee from us; however, when it comes to people with wrong fruits of the Spirit, we have to leave them. We should not wait for them to be changed. Therefore, before being committed in a relationship, be sure the Spirit is good, and it is not an evil one which hates God. Compromising and feeling sorry for them and just hanging on expecting a change or solution is not the right way. Lot, did the same mistake. He did not agree with the people of Sodom and Gomorrah but did not break his relationship with them. He was delaying his departure from the place which was hated by God. Consequently, darkness crept into his generations. His generation became an abomination. Hence, make the right decision by saying “no” to the things that God hates. Do not compromise.

No compromise

We may have faced certain situations when though we wanted to flee, we could not. There are certain relationships that cannot be broken even if we desire. For example, relationship with a wife, husband, children, and parents. In those situations, though we know the relationship is not right, since we do not know how to handle it, we compromise. Dear brothers and sisters in Christ, in any situation and at any cost, we cannot compromise the principles. The Bible guides us how to handle it. For example, the father – son relationship is explained in the parable about the lost son. When the younger one was not happy in the relationship with the father, he did not stop the son from making the mistake of leaving and suffering for that. Many people’s lives are destroyed because of a wrong principle they implement regarding a relationship. Many parents make the commitment that by no means they will allow a suffering in their children’s lives. This mindset will destroy the children’s thinking methodology. In Deuteronomy 8^thchapter, God talks about 4 kinds of pain which we call as suffering: 1. Hunger, 2. Wilderness. 3. Humbling and 4. Being tested. God loved Israel very much that he allowed these things to destroy the unwanted things in them. In the case of Lot’s wife, she could not hold on to the counsel which was given to her. The people of Sodom and Gomorrah were not aware of this message of warning, but she had the grace to know it. However, even during the hard time her affinity with Sodom and Gomorrah was not submitted to be destroyed. On the other hand, when David sinned against God, he made a right decision by falling into the hands of God. Therefore, do not protect your children from the consequences of their choices, but be with them through their pain as a loving comfort and strength. Indeed, the wilderness and the hard times will break them very hard, but these things will build their character. The prodigal son understood the value of the father’s love only when he went through a hard time. That is why God sold His people into the hands of their enemies whenever they forgot their God and His commandments. In Romans 5:3-5, And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; 4 and perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us. In this passage, through Paul, God is clearly revealing that every tribulation will build one’s character and that is the way the Holy Spirit and the Love of God is poured in our hearts. So, what is the important lesson we learn from this? When the prodigal son was reaping the consequences of his sins, the father waited for him to return. The moment he returned to the father, everything was restored to him. Likewise, wait for the relationship to be restored so that you can be a tool to save your children. Similarly, Jesus Christ put the relationship with His mother on hold till she gave the instruction to the servants to do what He said. See the promise of our God about reaping in Joy in Psalms 126:4-6, Bring back our captivity, O Lord, As the streams in the South. 5 Those who sow in tears Shall reap in joy. 6 He who continually goes forth weeping, Bearing seed for sowing, Shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, Bringing his sheaves with him. It may break your heart when you see your loved ones suffering. Be with them, keep on loving them, and encourage them to submit to the message of repentance. A day will come when you will see the fruits of your labour. So, what should we do when there is a question or doubt in a relationship? We must wait till it is resolved instead of allowing them to eat the fruits of the relationship without a restoration. Unless the relationship is healed and restored, do not compromise with the principles.

How Long Do We Have to wait?

Many times, we ask this question and get frustrated. However, you have to understand one important aspect. In Isaiah 40:31, But those who wait on the Lord Shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint. We have to wait for the Lord to decide the judgement time. He is the judge, and it is His responsibility to bring anything to judgment. Whether it is a small or a big decision we make, we owe an explanation. in Romans 8:1, There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit. If you are led by the Spirit, there will be no judgement because it is not your decision. However, if you make a decision based on your past experience or someone’s opinion or the knowledge you acquired then you will be treated as a defaulter. The reason behind this is that you did not believe His justice. Many people, though they did many things in the Godly way were still judged because they could not wait for the Lord. A good example of this is King Saul who could not wait for the Lord’s time and lost his Kingdom to David. Also, Judas was unable wait for the day of resurrection but allowed his guilty conscience to kill him. Therefore, waiting for the Lord’s time plays an important role in our salvation. There is a deception seen in the wicked. They believe that the day of judgement is not at hand and take things into their own hands or get complacent. Whenever you think there is yet time to repent because judgment is not going to be imminent, look at the life of Ananias and Sapphira. In their lives, they did not have time to repent or realise their mistakes. Therefore, be thankful for the mercies God has shown by delaying His judgments in your life.

One more important thing about the time extended for the judgement is that it is given for a sinner to change. We have to understand the judgments of God. In God’s judgement, everyone’s life will be compared with the life of the Heavenly father. Everyone who is not equal to His holiness are all going to be judged. Therefore, His delay in the judgment is for His people to repent. That is the reason we have commandments like “judge not” in Matthew 7:1 and “do not grumble” in James 5:8. Thus, the best way to escape the condemnation when some injustice is done against us is to look at our mistakes and repent. Repentance will surely save us from destruction. Though the children of Nineveh received a judgement, their repentance delivered them. Hence, never ever forget the message of repentance in any situation. When you see the mistakes of others instead of yours, without your knowledge the message of repentance will be stolen from you. Therefore, be careful to preserve the message of repentance. This is the key factor for all kinds of relationships to be built and preserved, i.e., always look for your mistakes and not others’.

Can I divorce?

Many times, we are so caught up with the situations around us and we play the role of a Judge. Because someone made a mistake, it does not qualify us to be a judge. We have a right to disagree and flee from them. Like Joseph, David fled from the people who were doing evil against him. In Ephesians 5: 11, 12, And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather expose them. 12 For it is shameful even to speak of those things which are done by them in secret.Allowing God to expose evil doers and disagreeing with them is the maximum level of expression allowed to us. We are not granted the authority or privilege to judge.

Finally, Dear Brothers and Sisters, when you face problems in your relationship with Christ, it in turn leads to broken relationships with fellow humans. We do not need to be fine with everyone and we cannot, but do not judge any relationship or person. Instead, allow God to do that. Breaking a relationship and judging a person belongs to God. At any situation, He will not give His glory to us, the created humans. The key element when a relationship goes through hardship is to keep the message of repentance as your focus not others’ mistakes. Surely, He will go before you and mend the crooked things. Therefore, do not be discouraged if you did evil in the eyes of God because Jesus Christ said in Mark 2: 17 When Jesus heard it, He said to them, “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners, to repentance.” Hence, focus on repentance so that the Prince of Peace brings a transformation or judgement in the relationship. On the day of judgement, repentance is the only way to escape the condemnation. 

May the Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ lead you and guard you from every judgment.