Peace of Jesus Christ be with you all.
I greet you all in the name of our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ.
When I sat down to write this newsletter, it was an overwhelming joy to realize how wonderful the journey we have finished so far, has been. God was so good in the past to protect us when we went through the burdens of Egypt. He was concerned about our wellbeing when we were entangled with sickness, weakness, and troubles. Though this newsletter started for a very small group of people and for some simple reasons, God preserved this idea and made it to grow like a tree. I am truly grateful for the fruits in the form of healing, restoration, and endurance. In this newsletter, we are going to deal with the subject, ‘Our responsibilities towards a relationship.’ This month’s newsletter is going to be an answer for all the broken relationships.
Foundation of a Relationship
Foundation is the important part of any structure. If the foundation is strong, even stormy conditions cannot destroy the building. In Matthew 7: 24 & 25, Therefore whoever hears these sayings of Mine, and does them, I will liken him to a wise man who built his house on the rock: 25 and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it did not fall, for it was founded on the rock. The truth is very clear. What we face as struggle in our relationships is the consequence of the choices we have made. Many times, we are not able to realise that because of the problems in the foundation, we are facing treacherous situations. In Mark 13:31, Heaven and earth will pass away, but My words will by no means pass away. Everything has an exit point but not for the word of God. Paul writes the same concept in Colossians 1:17: And He is before all things, and in Him all things consist. When we have the word of God in our hearts, we will not give up when situations are against us. Therefore, the first step in reconstructing a relationship is that the word of God should become our thinking pattern. No one can destroy our relationships; not even our mistakes, but our thinking pattern. We are struggling to realise that our thinking is the culprit. In our hearts, the negative thoughts like hurt, pain, and accusations should be replaced by the word of God. In Psalms 107:10-12, Those who sat in darkness and in the shadow of death, Bound in affliction and irons—11 Because they rebelled against the words of God, And despised the counsel of the Most High, 12 Therefore He brought down their heart with labour; They fell down, and there was none to help. Therefore, it is important to focus on the word of God rather than on our afflictions, so that God can build the relationships through conversations. One of the important ways for a relationship to be built is through conversations which should be fuelled by the principle of God. Thus, thinking patterns become an important part in building a relationship.
Thinking patterns will not be corrected or healed by our own strength and efforts. That is why building a relationship becomes complicated. Many times, it becomes impossible to build broken relationships. If you are really committed to a relationship, then the first step is that thinking patterns should be made new. Becoming new in the thinking pattern requires two processes. First, the old system must die, and second, a new system has to be created. In the previous newsletter also, we saw a similar message regarding new creation where we talked about leaving and cleaving. In Exodus 31:13, Speak also to the children of Israel, saying: ‘Surely My Sabbaths you shall keep, for it is a sign between Me and you throughout your generations, that you may know that I am the Lord who sanctifies you. Hence, submitting our past into the hands of Jesus Christ is the only way for a new creation to be born and thinking patterns to be healed. The way of Jesus Christ is a narrow way. Unless you allow your old rotten past to die, a new life will not be born. For this reason, the way of Jesus Christ is a narrow way. As long as a person holds back the past, he/she is not worthy for the new relationship.
Looking for Correction
The next step in building or rebuilding the relationship is to look for corrections. Before addressing the subject ‘corrections,’ we should be sure about why one should look for corrections. Looking for corrections should not allow you to be hurt or should not influence you with guilty consciousness. The concept of corrections is given in the Bible to make you better. It is neither to judge you nor allow you to judge others. It is neither to hurt you nor allow you to hurt others. In John 3:17, For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved. Therefore, we can be very sure that if the correction process of God is interpreted by us as judgement or condemnation then it is not the voice of the Holy Spirit. Since it is not from the Holy Spirit, that voice should be resisted. Better yet, it should not only be resisted, but it should also be destroyed in your mind. Why must we be corrected? Correction will always help us to realise where we went away from the way of God, so it will help us to restore our relationship with God. We have to learn from our mistakes. Every mistake in the past has to be addressed and exposed. In Ephesians 5:13 & 14, But all things that are exposed are made manifest by the light, for whatever makes manifest is light. 14 Therefore He says: “Awake, you who sleep, Arise from the dead, And Christ will give you light.” When you allow your mistakes to be exposed, the truth is, you allow Jesus Christ into the relationship. Jesus Christ is the Prince of Peace. There is nothing called right or wrong within any relationship. The only question is, are you interested in that relationship or against it? If you really look for the right or wrong in a relationship, then the truth is you are rejecting that relationship. When there is love, there is nothing called right or wrong. Enemies will fight for their might and neighbours will fight for the right and wrong, but not family. This is the principle behind the concept that when you submit yourself as a slave of Jesus Christ, there will not be any condemnation.
In Matthew 7:1, We see a command, “Judge not …” and in 1 John 1:9, If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. He says He is very faithful in cleansing us from our unfaithfulness. Whoever finds the mercy of Jesus Christ to confess their mistakes, for sure will have a second chance in their relationships. Without mercy you cannot confess your sins. Many times, a wrong confession or a confession which is influenced by the flesh will always lead to disaster. When it comes to corrections, it does not happen according to humans or what humans say. The correction which the Lord God says in the Bible will bring realisation of whatever was done against Jesus Christ and how we have grieved the Holy Spirit. In 1 Corinthians 11:31&32, For if we would judge ourselves, we would not be judged. 32 But when we are judged, we are chastened by the Lord, that we may not be condemned with the world. According to this passage, the correction process will deliver you from the consequences of your choices. Second step in building the relationship or in rebuilding is to love the corrections and make it a habit. In Psalms 73: 13 & 14, Surely I have cleansed my heart in vain, And washed my hands in innocence. 14 For all day long I have been plagued, And chastened every morning. Sometimes we assume that correction may not be needed because the situation is calm and peaceful. We have to be very careful when this spiritual stagnation attacks us. It is not a healthy habit. This spiritual stagnation not only destroys relationships, but also our happiness. Anyone who has the desire to come out of loneliness, needs to grow in the habit of correction.
Earning a Conversation
There is a third step in building or in rebuilding a relationship, which is, feeling sorry for the mistakes and making an effort to correct it. Especially, if we have made a mistake, we must make an effort to rectify it and rebuild or restore the damage. Though Jesus Christ shed His blood as an atonement for our sins, still it is a must that we have to confess our mistakes and leave it. Confession is not a response to a statutory warning, which is just a legality. Meaning, it should not be perceived as a requirement to achieve something or avoid a consequence or for a benefit. Neither should it arise out of a sense of duty or obligation or courtesy. Confession should express remorse and willingness to change. In a conversation with others, if our words are generalised and just come from the mouth, it will play the role of a destroyer for the relationship. Rather, it is better is to keep quiet. When we confess, it should be very precise, and you should be bold enough to take responsibility by facing the consequence. In 1 Chronicles 21:17, And David said to God, “Was it not I who commanded the people to be numbered? I am the one who has sinned and done evil indeed; but these sheep, what have they done? Let Your hand, I pray, O Lord my God, be against me and my father’s house, but not against Your people that they should be plagued.” In this passage we can clearly see the expressions of David’s remorse. David is taking responsibility for his mistake and is willing to face the consequence. Hence, restoration of a relationship should be initiated with remorse and owning the mistake. Mercy will not be given if the new creation is absent because the old being is not destroyed. If mercy is not revealed, then God’s initiation for restoration is absent. The initiation of restoration is conversation. Through conversation we realise how we are responsible for hurting others. This realisation then turns into confession. This leads to restoration.
Second important aspect in earning the conversation is, ‘Time.’ In Hebrews 12:17, For you know that afterward, when he wanted to inherit the blessing, he was rejected, for he found no place for repentance, though he sought it diligently with tears. In the above-mentioned verse, the time taken by Esau to confess his sins made him to be rejected. The moment we realise the strain in a relationship, we have to go to the perfect counsellor to find out any deviation in us. We cannot wait till it is exposed. Peter, one of the disciples of Jesus Christ, when he betrayed Jesus Christ, wept and cried. He did not waste time till the consequence of his mistakes to be revealed to come to realisation. We should not waste our time by looking at others’ mistakes or by justifying it. Pharaoh, the ruler of Egypt, many times confessed that he was wrong, but he kept on repeating the same mistake again and again. The subject of his confession was deliverance, not transformation. In Luke 19:8, Then Zacchaeus stood and said to the Lord, “Look, Lord, I give half of my goods to the poor; and if I have taken anything from anyone by false accusation, I restore fourfold.” Here, we see a confession which is supported with the effort to change which was immediately accepted.
God’s Role:
As we discussed earlier, our relationship with Jesus Christ plays an important role in any of our other relationships. In Proverbs 16:6&7, In mercy and truth, Atonement is provided for iniquity; And by the fear of the Lord one departs from evil. 7 When a man’s ways please the Lord, He makes even his enemies to be at peace with him. Here, we see an important link between repentance and restoration of a relationship. We need to please God, and that is the vital part in restoration. We have to convince God by our remorse, confession, and efforts to change. Then, it is the responsibility of God to mend the relationship. I want to end this letter with a word of caution. Psalms 1:5: Therefore the ungodly shall not stand in the judgement, Nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous. Sometimes, though we may make a sincere attempt to restore the relationship, it may not yield any results. We should not lose heart. Do not allow the guilty conscience to creep into your hearts because it is His justice system. He is the potter, and we are all clay in His hands. Let us decide to set our focus on mending our relationship with Jesus Christ and make Him our King, so that we can rejoice in His governance.
Jesus Christ came to this world to restore. Since we are His children, we cannot fight like the world. Give your best effort to restore the relationships as early as possible. We are not going to be in this world forever, so let us use the life which is given to us as a gift in a proper way. Do not waste it by following the principles of the world. I pray to the heavenly Father to help you to live a life according to this verse: Ephesians 4:30 – 32 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. 32 And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.
Therefore, to summarise, let us focus on loving and preserving the word of God in us, so that we can submit our old being to be transformed into a new creation. Through this, let us earn His mercy, and let our thinking process and pattern be healed and renewed. In this process, let us also submit and love the correction of God. Also, let us become worthy of honest conversation through confession, and understand its gravity and importance in a relationship. Furthermore, let us not be tardy in rebuilding relationships or play the game of hide and seek. Let us be aware that being straight forward and being willing to restore relationships is crucial. Finally, let us always remember that our reconciliation with God will lead to restoration of other areas of our lives.
May the love of the Father protect you from all dangers. May the mercy and grace of Jesus Christ guard your souls, and the sweet fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you and govern you all till we see Him face to face. Amen.
God be with you all.